Mothers, hide your sons

The above picture (that I must admit I robbed from another blogger because it was just so beautiful) is for MisstressM... Does that answer the age-old question? I'd like to fantasize that there are rolling green hills somewhere where young men such as this roam free, looking for warm women to bend over.

This Mistress, however, believes the Universe is conspiring against her. I have been thwarted at every turn and I must admit that I am quite amused by it all. I've decided that instead of looking at my lack of sex as a challenge, I am going to look on it as a opportunity. I've mellowed, but a partner right now would distill whatever it is I'm exuding. I have to be giving off pheromones. A partner right now might sate my desires and dilute my ability to attract. I think I'll use that to my advantage while my three simmer.

Pretty Boy has been placed in limbo. I have gotten information that he is quite unreliable. Apparently he fancies himself quite the player. He is in the habit of making dates and breaking them, or just not showing up. A friend of mine, of course not knowing that I had any idea of even who he was, remarked that he was *gasp* rumoured to be "BISEXUAL"! Oh, joy of joys! It's not something he would have ever have admitted to me. In the context of BDSM, it is quite and intriguing concept for me. I've never had the opportunity to play with someone who is interested in both sexes. I must admit it is a thought... However, the fact that he is such a pain in the ass makes the whole situation more trouble than it's worth. I did contact him and made it clear that his game was over and that he already had quite the reputation. The man (term used loosely of course) was confused. He is ignorant of the far reach of the sisterhood. Something tells me he may always be ignorant.

The Prig is still elusive. I am not so interested that I will chase that far. If an opportunity presents itself, I may take it.

The Colonel will come in time. Right now it is a matter of timing than anything. Not his fault.

We'll see where the week takes us...

Disappointment

Pretty Boy is over an hour late. He just texted that he is just now getting out of the shower and will call in a minute. I have a good mind to meet him at the door in a pair of latex boots, thigh-high stockings and wielding a riding crop or my brand new one-inch-thick olive-wood paddle. I'm afraid I might scare the poor young thing. I told him that I am waiting and getting VERY impatient. I am not happy with Pretty Boy's lack of punctuality. He will be punished. I will have to be careful though, he's not accustomed to my particular brand of discipline. Baby steps... I will try to get photos.

More later.

UPDATE: Pretty Boy is on the verge of being fired. I am growing tired of his antics. There is something fishy going on there.

I have tentative plans with The Colonel on Monday. I am otherwise engaged with other (read ordinary) pursuits this weekend. I may be spending some time with the female end of the couple on Saturday. It's time to draw her out of that shell. As for The Prig, he remains elusive. He does hold himself in high esteem. Maybe it's time to put him back in his place. It would have been fairly easy with Pretty Boy on my arm. Hmmm. Time to find a replacement for Pretty Boy.

Tic toc, it's getting late. I look forward to a rousing start to the work week next week. The Colonel is practically salivating.

Mistress in heat

Lately I have been in need. SERIOUS need. And I am on the hunt. Let me tell you what I have found, because this Mistress never settles for just one stallion in the stable. Usually it takes more than one man to satisfy whatever carnal lusts I have need to satisfy. And indeed, it's been a LONG, LONG time.

Pretty Boy: MisstressM and I have discussed this one. I am not interested in dating this young man. He is for carnal pleasures only. He is a personal trainer. He is large everywhere, arms, legs and chest. His ass is rock hard and his nipples are pierced. I have had the pleasure of kissing him and playing with his cock for a short time. He is young and has only had the pleasure of being with young, impressionable and very naive women. By his own admission he has never been with anyone like me. He is somewhat aware of what I do, but not completely educated. He's curious, which is attractive to me. I am very strongly attracted to him but have so far been successful in not jumping on him. It may take him years to understand (if ever) that most of the pleasure I will take in him will be in touching him. He will think that I will be giving him pleasure when in fact it is my own. He does have the body of an Adonis. He says he will be here tomorrow at 11am to spend the day with me. We will see. So far he has not been the most reliable.

The Prig: Overinflated sense of Ego, but a more mature man. He has more experience (far more) with women and knows exactly what and who I am. He is not interested in playing in the "Mistress/slave or Dominant/submissive" sense. He is dominant in his own right, but adventurous. He's open to alot of things, but very clear about what he won't do. There are still quite few things he's hung up on. He's a bit of a Peter Pan. Doesn't want to really settle down, doesn't really want a life partner. Just wants to play around. Uncatchable. That's ok. I don't want to catch him. He seems like someone worthy of the time. Someone who would be worth the effort.

The Colonel: Ah. Sexy and a real man. Not at all tuned in to what I am. He is raw and unbridled. Someone I've found attractive for a while. Great sense of humor. He seems to be a man starving. Someone who has been denied the small pleasures in life. This is a man who has dated women who will not even give him the small pleasure of fellatio. Ah, poor soul. He is in for quite a surprise, isn't he? Easy to please...

And I've met a couple... She likes to kiss girls. As you know I am not bisexual or even bicurious. I will never say never, it's just not my thing. She's not really interested in much more, but she's pretty up front. She does, however, like to watch. He is attractive and a very nice guy. She feels very submissive to him, but I do not. He would like her to be a little more aggressive. I'd love to see her come out of her shell a bit. She's cute, creative and fun. We'll have to see how this shapes up!

Hello again, Mr. Murphy.

Mr. Murphy has seen fit to send The Scot my way as foreseen. I am sure this is not the last I have seen of him. He would be an undeniable match for me if things were different. I would have to step aside and make room for him. But I cannot allow him to have any power in my life. And there it is.

I am not used to denying myself sex. I just don't see the point. But at this point in my life I am now used to being the one in charge of procuring it as well. I am not used to being "worked over" shall we say. And finding myself the unwitting pawn in someone's little game has left me...disoriented. It seems that I've left myself a bit unprotected. Let's make sure that doesn't happen again, shall we? I am no longer accustomed to being prey. Let's leave that to the uninitiated twenty-somethings who think that every man who says "I love you" actually means it. Or that we mean it when we say it was well.

In unrelated news: One of my associates recently told me that he and his wife had recently separated. I felt a bit bad since I had been giving him a hard time in front of her not too long before. Before this revelation, I was riding with them in their mini-van and noticed a book on the floor. One of those self-help marital guides and thought "uh-oh...", but blew it off. His next words to me were "So what are YOU doing later?" When I turned him down he admitted that they were "working on it" and that it looked like it would work out. Seems she's been "dating" a coworker. I don't think there's much hope it's going to work out at this point.

*sigh* I MUST see the surgeon about having this married-man magnet removed from my person.

Murphy lives

I know I've been largely absent lately. It's been very busy here. I was more or less forced to spend a large amount of money recently and haven't really looked back. I replaced my ageing car with a vehicle that very much reflects my personality. I've been putting off the inevitable for some time in the hopes that I would have a larger amount of money saved. So be it. The time was right and I have a predisposition to believing in such things. The new car is fast, sleek and just so "me" that I can't help but just stand back and marvel at it. I knew it would be mine as soon as I laid eyes on it. My old vehicle had been paid off quite a while ago so it really is a pain to have a car payment again.

I also decided to replace my ancient (by my computer scientist brother's standards) computer. So now I find myself in a lightning-fast world where my old computer had me in a much slower pace. I'm loving it, of course. I haven't put all of the chat software back on and I'm not sure I'm going to. I've hit yet another one of my reflective snags.

I was out of town last week and had a ridiculously busy schedule that left me exhausted. There was very little sleep, I did not take my vitamins regularly and ate very few real meals. And upon returning and going back to work, I left immediately for a funeral. A woman who shares my occupation died horribly in an entirely avoidable accident. This week I have tried to slow down and get back into my routine. I find I need that more and more. I also noted that I passed a rather notable anniversary last month. And here we segue into the next topic...

It has been over a year since I have had sex with a man. Now I was worried that the week I was out of town would present itself with some interesting, but verboten, possibilities. And it did. Truly. But I behaved myself. My navigator was an attractive gentleman, but I kept my hands off. My next door neighbor, two weeks from finalizing his divorce was also hands off. I believe no man when he cooks up a story. I was absolutely convinced my switch was permanently in the "OFF" position. Then I met "HIM". Good god. I saw him and for some reason I wanted to talk to him immediately. And boy can I pick them. He lives a hundred miles away. He is even more verboten than any of the others... And I cannot get him off of my mind. I wish that I could say that I will take this opportuniity to relish the uncomfortable feeling of want. But What I want and need to do is forget him immediately. And of course what this means is that this man, who I have never met before, will be thrown into my path again and again in my future. How do I know this? Because we met Wednesday night for the first time, and then were assigned to each other all day Saturday at the funeral. We have friends/coworkers (no difference there) in common.

There once was this man named Murphy and he penned this law...

The Flirt

I've spent the last couple of weeks in close proximity to a man who finds it amusing to flirt with me. I find it amusing that he has no ungodly idea what the hell he's doing. Not at all. He has no idea how to recognize what I am. I'm not even sure he knows that women like me exist.

This gentleman is married and someone not really predisposed to cheating. I think he likes to think about it but guilt keeps him from following through. His idea of kink is having a woman tell him exactly where to touch him. Really. I'm not kidding you. Now, I'm pretty close to him in what I'd consider a sisterly way. We're frank with one another and can talk about just about anything. I get the feeling his life has been pretty sheltered. If he knew what kind of a life I've led, it would blow his mind. I think - no, I KNOW - he's sit there with his mouth hanging open speechless. He's not the kind that would entertain being part of the lifestyle. He's also not the type I would consider recruiting.

As for the type of man I would recruit... I've decided he should strive to be a tailor. I absolutely HATE when my clothes don't fit well. I'd love to dress like this on a daily basis:


After all, Lara Croft is the quintessential Dominant woman, isn't she?

Dreaming

Last night I had a dream. After contemplating what on earth could have inspired such perplexing images, I came up with some theories. But then, even I don't feign to pretend to understand the way my own mind works. I regret not getting immediately out of bed and writing down the details.

I remember being at a large home performing some sort of tasks for a very nice woman. I don't remember what the tasks were but I was outside alot. There was an understanding in my dream that this woman was the new partner of my former Master. I wasn't uncomfortable with that thought at the time. I remember feeling at ease with her but not really understanding what was really happening or even if she knew about my history with Him. I was unsure of my specific place in the hierarchy, but knew that I was not free to just leave without her permission. I smiled easily and was happy to go about my work with her close by. At some point I realized that it was getting late and twilight was settling. I went to her in the kitchen of the home and asked her what was next. She said that she needed nothing more from me that day. I was then overwhelmed with the desire to stay at the home. I asked her:

Mistress, is it OK if I stay here this evening?

She stretched out her arms and hugged me saying: "Mistress, indeed!"

I immediately removed what little clothing I had on and was happy to stay in the home and wait for Him to arrive. I remember being very excited at the prospect of having the two of them there with me. At the moment I called her Mistress, I felt completely at ease and happy. It was a very pleasant dream. I was disappointed to have been woken by someone outside and not able to see where the dream (and I) would have gone. It ended with me standing smiling at the sink, completely nude with her standing behind me with her arms around me, moving her hands slowly down. My mind was racing with all of the things I wanted to do with them and things I wanted to have done to me.

To be clear, I've never wanted to be with a woman. I knew that at some point that my former Master was going to require it of me. I trusted him to know how far he could push me at any given moment, so I was not as terrified as I might have been. Our relationship ended before anything really even began. And to be honest, I thought I was far beyond having any desire for any future relationship of that nature. I've been quite content to be the Dominant. It was interesting that I was so content to be submissive - and to a woman at that! Maybe I just need to get out there and find someone to explore a few things with.