Tuesday, February 26, 2008

What's right

Lately I've been thinking alot about what's right. Not so much about what's right in general, but what's right for me. I'd been doing some research on Humanism and motivational theories. It struck me that I could almost see some people's motivations based on the way we interacted.

A while back I was conversing with a submissive that I only "knew" through electronic communication. After a few conversations I knew that although he seemed fascinating, he would never be right for me. It was interesting to see how his mind worked, what he expected and how he communicated with his Mistresses. I noticed pretty quickly that he really loved to re-hash his experiences. I suspect that he cared alot less how the person he communicated with saw him than he did about getting his thrill by reliving his experiences. He dominated the conversations quickly and seemed to always want to draw everything back to an experience he'd had with this Mistress or that. It grew tedious to the point where I would hide from him online so I wouldn't feel obligated to listen, so to speak. He is an intelligent, well spoken gentleman, but not someone I would be interested in playing with. It doesn't make him a bad person, nor is my opinion relevant to anyone other than myself. It just is.

I've realized that humans had an ingrained need to feel included - to be accepted. A rejection of any sort is devastating. Despite knowing this, rejection doesn't hurt any less. Maybe one of the benefits of growing older is recognizing that there's nothing wrong with you because you don't "click" with every person you meet. Nor will you be universally adored by all. What matters is what you feel when you look in the mirror. I have long learned that all of those things I was taught as a child may have no place in my life. Sex is not dirty (in the negative sense, of course) and women who have it are not necessarily whores. Everyone must make these decision for themselves and about themselves. Just because you believe that sleeping with more than one man makes you a whore doesn't mean everyone agrees with you, or must agree with you. And because I like to be dominated at times, wearing stockings and not panty hose and high heels does not make me a throwback to the 1800s. I'm not going to conform just because you say it's right.

Sister, find your own way. Screw what I think.

2 comments:

Princess of the Universe said...

I'm pretty sure that I'm universally adored. :P

You make some excellent points...ahh the wisdom of beccoming an adult!

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