Friday, June 27, 2008

Murphy lives

I know I've been largely absent lately. It's been very busy here. I was more or less forced to spend a large amount of money recently and haven't really looked back. I replaced my ageing car with a vehicle that very much reflects my personality. I've been putting off the inevitable for some time in the hopes that I would have a larger amount of money saved. So be it. The time was right and I have a predisposition to believing in such things. The new car is fast, sleek and just so "me" that I can't help but just stand back and marvel at it. I knew it would be mine as soon as I laid eyes on it. My old vehicle had been paid off quite a while ago so it really is a pain to have a car payment again.

I also decided to replace my ancient (by my computer scientist brother's standards) computer. So now I find myself in a lightning-fast world where my old computer had me in a much slower pace. I'm loving it, of course. I haven't put all of the chat software back on and I'm not sure I'm going to. I've hit yet another one of my reflective snags.

I was out of town last week and had a ridiculously busy schedule that left me exhausted. There was very little sleep, I did not take my vitamins regularly and ate very few real meals. And upon returning and going back to work, I left immediately for a funeral. A woman who shares my occupation died horribly in an entirely avoidable accident. This week I have tried to slow down and get back into my routine. I find I need that more and more. I also noted that I passed a rather notable anniversary last month. And here we segue into the next topic...

It has been over a year since I have had sex with a man. Now I was worried that the week I was out of town would present itself with some interesting, but verboten, possibilities. And it did. Truly. But I behaved myself. My navigator was an attractive gentleman, but I kept my hands off. My next door neighbor, two weeks from finalizing his divorce was also hands off. I believe no man when he cooks up a story. I was absolutely convinced my switch was permanently in the "OFF" position. Then I met "HIM". Good god. I saw him and for some reason I wanted to talk to him immediately. And boy can I pick them. He lives a hundred miles away. He is even more verboten than any of the others... And I cannot get him off of my mind. I wish that I could say that I will take this opportuniity to relish the uncomfortable feeling of want. But What I want and need to do is forget him immediately. And of course what this means is that this man, who I have never met before, will be thrown into my path again and again in my future. How do I know this? Because we met Wednesday night for the first time, and then were assigned to each other all day Saturday at the funeral. We have friends/coworkers (no difference there) in common.

There once was this man named Murphy and he penned this law...