Well, it seems Porter and I will be going our separate ways. I thought that because he was so reserved, spending a little vanilla time together might put him at ease and he'd be able to relax a little. It turns out that we have relatively little in common with one another outside of this lifestyle. I was also rather disappointed in his handling of last nights situation.
After returning from going out, Porter asked if I would be angry if he just went home. I wasn't feeling up to a scene with him anyway, so I said no, I didn't mind. He took off like a shot. I had been feeling fairly uncomfortable in a vanilla setting with him anyway, so I wasn't upset. I was, however suspicious. He has been extremely secretive with me about himself and that made me uncomfortable as well. This morning he sent me a message and I asked him point-blank if he was interested in keeping this going or if he wanted to quit. I had looked to his blog for answers as to what was going on and discovered it has been deleted. Because of this, I knew he was lying to me when he said he would "need a break". After needling him a bit, I found that he was uncomfortable in the vanilla world with me and thought I was looking for more of a relationship, vanilla AND BDSM. Although he's right, I'm certainly not looking for it from him. He has too many issues for me to make him mine. I would not even consider collaring him right now - and I can't even see that in the distant future. My goal with him was to let him explore this lifestyle in a safe way with me, while I explored my dominant tendencies. I decided that yes, I am angry with him. Instead of telling me what is on his mind, he lied to me. This is not something I am willing to put up with. *sigh* No matter. My only happy thought about this is that I did get to take the hairbrush to his ass before we went out. It hurt far more than the crop evidently. He said his ass is still purple. I'd like to say I'm sorry, but...
This situation has definitely made me question my abilities to be a Domme. Unfortunately I DO care if my male partner is satisfied, and I do care about their comfort and feelings. Maybe being submissive is truly my calling. I'm not sure of anything right now, so I think I'll take a break myself.
Little Big Update
7 years ago
3 comments:
I wouldn't rush to any conclusions. Being a domme requires someone willing to be a proper sub. If the chemistry isn't right it doesn't mean you're not up to the task. What I would recommend is, whether you choose to be a slave or a mistress, that you partner with someone who knows their role and is comfortable with it. I find it works best when only one of you is doing the exploring.
Dahling Mistress….that just sounds much better on you. I wouldn’t be too worried about the situation. You need and want someone who is open, honest and willing. The boy just didn’t cut it. Say NEXT, crack your whip in the air, and move on. You have to find a hot, juicy, delicious man….I need to hear (read) all the sizzling details.
Love ya
-M
HI lady, I am a man who has "walked both sides of the street".
I too must have love in ANY relationship, and care deeply about others feelings and LEGITIMATE needs.
I thought that menat I had to be a subbie, but as time went on, in a sudden experienced I found out I loved domination even more.
As the other have said, please dont let one bad time ruin your foray into domination.
Anyone who is truely caring and respectful of another will be honest and supportive of thier partner, even if they cant fill the partners need.
It sounds like this man just was nto a good vehicle to explore with anymore.
I hope yuo can regain your belief in your self, and that you are worthy of happineess in walking yur chosen path.
Peace to you Lady, may you find adoration and be cherished by your partners, no matter what role you are trying.!.
Post a Comment