Maybe if you grovel at my feet...

This morning's run was greeted with a beautiful pink sunrise as I listened to The Yoshida Brothers. A perfect pairing of sunrise and music - perfect timing on my part too.

Porter contacted me last night. I was really very surprised. He wanted to know if I was still angry with him. I explained that I was never angry, but that he should have handled things differently. Sometimes our upbringing doesn't prepare us for the naked honesty required for this kind of relationship. And sometimes that requirement of honesty is as humiliating as any spanking could be. Porter apologized again and again. He apparently needs some time to sort out his feelings in the area and asked if he could contact me again.

I've pondered the consequences of letting Porter come back. I told him IF I were still available, and IF I were to let him come back, it would be because he groveled sufficiently at my feet. There will be no vanilla contact between us, no deviation from our roles. He will never see me naked and will never have the priviledge of fucking me. I have also told him that I may never allow him to cum in my presence again. IF I let him come to me, the first time, after he grovels and apologizes profusely, he will be punished severely. He will also spend all of his time on his knees, or bent over before me to receive the crop or paddle. Nipple screws and boot licking will be added to his reperatoire. That's all conditional, of course. It depends on how I feel should he contact me again. Right now he is not privy to my comings and goings and I know that's driving him insane.

Newcomer was suppposed to come visit me this evening. I think we will postpone that visit until sunday morning. I get off of work at 7am and will go home and shower. With any luck, he will be there waiting to take the stress of the day from me. He may have found a sub of his own, but she lives a fair distance from him. He started controlling her orgasms this week and she should be coming to visit soon. We have already discussed me visiting them to watch him handle her. Of course everyone has to feel comfortable around each other, but she is open to the possibility. I very much look forward to that. Not because I have some perverse sense (well, I do...), but because I want to witness how a Dominant handles a submissive. I've never been a witness to that and I think it will give me some perspective. I have long wanted to observe how this dynamic works for other people. Witness complete and utter trust between the two. I can't wait. I'd contemplated going to a club or party, but I'd much rather start with people I know. The time of meeting my married couple friends is drawing near, but I'm not really sure how that's going to work out. He tops her from the bottom alot - not something I would tolerate. Time will tell.

Well, I must begin my day. Ah, the mundane workings of the home. I must prepare myself for the next couple of days. Sometimes I get tired of being the organized Type A I am.