I was up quite late last night. It's the first time in a long time I can remember going to bed and sleeping for about two hours, then not being able to sleep any longer. I surfed the net for a bit and then went back to try to sleep more. I managed to get a few winks in between being disturbed by the noisy "neighbors". I will definitely need to take a few day's break. I go back tomorrow night, but should get a break later in the week. I've decided to donate blood as well. It's something I do when I can, but I'll need the rest after that.
Things are quiet. Newcomer was supposed to leave for the weekend, but has changed his plans. No matter, I decided to work and he's busy unpacking his belongings that just arrived from overseas. I know it must be a relief for him to now be surrounded by his own things. I look forward to finally seeing his place soon.
Whenever I seem to float away from the BDSM lifestyle, something always seems to peak my interest again. Sometimes it's the nostalgic musings of someone's memories of a partner, sometimes its imagining a particular person bent over my favorite stool, ass high in the air... I wish it were easy to start such a relationship, to just instinctively know what a chosen person needs, how far to go, what to say. I haven't perfected my approach as of yet. Some people expect you to only be "in character" when they have decided to play. That seems too forced - things should happen more naturally than that. Patience. It takes a long time to know someone so well that you instinctively react to them and can communicate the most subtle of your thoughts between you. It doesn't happen overnight. I'm almost bowled over by some of the women I have seen in the more "amateur" sites. Very demanding, not at all particular. Devotion is not automatic - a Domina must earn that too. And just because you're willing to grovel at my feet does not mean you automatically get a spot in my heart. You have to bring more to the table than that. There is nothing so attractive to me than a strong man. One worthy of taming. (It seems I am quite demanding...)
It's hot - over 90 degrees right now and I'm feeling a bit sluggish. I have turned on the AC for the first time. It has a very cucooning effect - having all of the windows closed and the cool, noisy air blowing. Makes me wish I had a cool, dark dungeon in which to leave a toy dangling from a ring in the wall. I am feeling quite sadistic today. Not sexual, not seeking to fulfill some carnal feeling, but wishing to leave a mark on a fresh backside. A blindfold, ear plugs, hands bound above his head, legs spread wide and shackled so they cannot be moved. I don't want him to hear me coming, hear the swish of the crop, anticipate the strike. I just want to hear him catch his breath every time the crop falls. I want to leave him there for a while, maybe watch him struggle when he thinks I've left the room. Watch him defile himself. And just when he thinks he is alone.... a fresh set of marks on his thighs and ass. I may be in the mood for introducing a large plug, or even a strap-on. I am fond of making my subs aware of what it's like for a woman to suck cock and be fucked. Their perspective does change so much. I think every man should have to experience it. And I do love a virgin.... I'm not harsh, but I don't let them out of it.
For right now, I will have to just imagine. I think Laertes will be the object of my dreams tonight...
2 comments:
MistressFleur-
I believe it goes both ways. As a submissive, it's tempting to expect a connection to occur so easily- fluidly.
You think it just 'should,' but it's far more difficult than that.
Conversely and parallel to you, it takes a lot of trust for me to bare myself to her lash and total control.
So many alt.com ads make it seem trivial, but it's not.
Something I experienced recently was a dinner without the usual electricity of FemDom orientations. It was unbelievably boring.
I'm spoiled. For good.
-saratoga
saratoga -
Thank you for the comment.
I did not mean to imply that there should be an "instant" trust, but that I did not want to feel like I had to play a role and be "on" every time I am with someone. I want those roles to emerge naturally and without feeling forced. I'd like to have chemistry - the rest can evolve. At leasr that is what I had hoped I had communicated!
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