The Return?

I've been extraordinarily busy over the last couple of months, and it shows no signs of letting up anytime soon. Last night I finally got a really good night's sleep. The first in maybe three weeks!

The other day I was reading "The Story of O" and found myself really missing the discipline and structure of that lifestyle as a submissive. I couldn't help but think of my former Master and the fact that on August 23rd we would have been together for a year. I still have not spoken to him (not since March), but have extended and invitation for him to contact me. I'm not willing to say that we'll be friends, but I don't want to spend the rest of my days avoiding him. It makes for a very difficult life and I've missed out on alot of things because of it. I still harbor some very deep wounds from our relationship and would not even entertain the idea of rekindling it at this time. I can't help but remember the time we did spend together as Master and slave with a twinge of regret. It seems that the emotional pain he inflicted keeps me from enjoying the memories entirely.

Last night I was online and Porter popped up on IM. I've been largely absent from IM lately. I either lurk while appearing to be offline, but mostly just log off altogether. He has been checking in to see if I'm there for quite some time and finally caught me in. He has been quite busy himself and is preparing to leave the country for a while. Here's a little excerpt:

porter: do you want company tonight?

Fleur_Blesse: I'm not sure I'd be up to anything tonight. Maybe next week?

porter: no problem. i'm also tired, but now that i finally got you online again..... the urges are coming back.

Indeed. He is still due a punishment of 10 lashes with the hairbrush for his previous insolence. At this point I think he is so turned on with the lifestyle that he would accept anything to serve again. He expressed an interest in "pampering" me. Hmmm. I have sent him the following e-mail with the subject "Do you wish to return?":

"I looked up the last time we spoke - it was June 9th. Do you remember my terms for your return? Let me refresh your memory:

Upon entering my home, your clothes must be removed and folded neatly, left on the stairs and you are to come up. You should never look me in the eye and always be on your knees in front of me unless told otherwise. You should expect to be punished on your first visit. I will blindfold you, slip a chain collar around your neck and a plug in your ass. You will receive 10 strokes while over my knee and your cock in my hand, no safeword and no stopping in between strokes. After your punishment you will kneel between my feet with your face at my pussy as we talk about your situation and how we would like to continue.

Is this something you wish to do?"

Let's see what his answer will be...